The Sartorial Senator

Bush Hunts for Oil, but Only Finds the Diesel

Apparently Bush's presidency is so terminal that the Make a Wish foundation has fulfilled his life long dream of meeting Shaq.  In actuality, Bush was congratulating the Miami Heat on their NBA championship.  He, of course, drew parallels  to the war in Iraq when he commended the Heat for their persistence, even when things looked bleak.  Bush failed to mention, however, that a basketball arena isn't usually filled with sectarian violence... unless you're playing in Detroit.  The only gaffe of an, otherwise, smooth event came when Bush attempted to dribble a basketball, but instead of bouncing like he expected, the ball landed with a thud.  Isn't it great when the metaphors just smack you in the forehead?  Watch the last 11 seconds of the video to see Bush drop the ball.

Looks like Ziggy had a new search component installed...

Although I took this photo from a NYT article from earlier in the week, I had to return to it because it had made such a lasting impact on my psyche.   Upon first glance, I believed that I had stumbled across an epiphany.  To my surprise I had discovered that the President had been jumping from body to body, setting the wrongs of the past right.... his only friend, a holographic image from the future named Al.  To my chagrin, I believed he had assumed the body of some meager scientist in North Carolina.  Finally relinquishing his grasp on the presidency and moving one step closer to returning to the future.  Unfortunately, after reading the article, I discovered the George was just playing dress up again in big boy clothes.  At least he is wearing his safety goggles.....  P.s. In case George reads this, I am talking about Quantum Leap.

Arnold Goes Green

It's the end of February and that can only mean the National Governor Association's Winter meetings.  This is where the 50 State Executives meet in Washington to discuss policy, common goals, and make big off-season trades.  Governor Schwarzenegger donned a bright green tie.  Perhaps, like the Oscars, Arnold wants to show off how green he can be, or maybe he is just going out drinking with Maryland Governor Martin O'Malley.  Schwarzegger had some pretty wise words regarding the partisan divides in Washington suggesting the President get a "smoking tent" in order to bond with Democrats over some nice stogies.  But why stop at the smoking tent?  How about a Hooka Tepee, or Hashish Igloo?

Blogger's Remorse

A law student in Egypt was sentenced to four years in prison for routinely insulting Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak on his blog.  I would just like to take this opportunity to mention how handsome Mr. Mubarak looks.  In what is, clearly, some kind of senior picture for his yearbook, Mubarak has chosen the conservative look of a serious leader yet with a slight smile that suggests a gentle lover.  I applaud President Mubarak for not going soft on free speech because, lord knows, once the bloggers start insulting you, the idle water cooler chitchat isn't far behind.  In a related note, A film adaptation of this incident is already in the works.  President Mubarak will, of course, be played by Eugene Levy.

I am Iraq, I am an Island

Tony Blair announced yesterday a timetable for  troop withdrawals from Iraq.  Doing his best to extend a bridge over some pretty troubled waters, Blair spoke with perennial sidekick Art Garfunkel, or as he is known in Britain: Lord Artemus of Garfunkelshire.  Blair looked quite dapper in his suit and tie compared with Garfunkel's always trendy denim on denim.  Garfunkel seemed pleased with Blair's decision to bring 1,500 troops home, stating that he too wished he was "homeward bound."
Blair made a smart choice by wearing Red, White and Blue, reminding us that he still loves America.  Be careful Tony, Don't make us change the name of English Muffins to Freedom Cakes.

George W Goes on a Totally Bogus Journey

President Bush began cementing his legacy by posing with the first President George W.  President Bush, of course, compared the troop surge in Iraq with the Revolutionary War, a dubious comparison until you realize that WE ARE THE IMPERIALISTS!  After the photos Washington asked to be put back in his grave, apparently he had some serious spinning to do.
At least Bush finally seems to realize his best shot of ever gaining a positive historical legacy is to take pictures that thoroughly confuse what era he lived in.  I propose a romp through history ala "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" so Bush can continue comparing his failed Presidency to past leaders.  Up next, Ghengis Kahn:

McCain Puts on Tough Exterior to Woo Conservatives

Looking to not get sideswiped in the primaries a la 2000, (where Karl Rove push polled South Carolina into believing that McCain's adopted Bangladeshi child was actually his illegitimate love child from an affair with a black woman....classy Republicans!) McCain set his own agenda by announcing his lack of support for Roe v. Wade and a personal vendetta against "judges that legislate from the bench."  I must confess that I was at one time enamored with the credentials of McCain, but now he just seems like an old washed up Papa's boy playing to the lowest common denominator of the Republican party....cough, cough... South Carolina...Shout out to Bob Jones University --  Oh ivory tower of intellectual thought, and crusader against interracial relationships.  Anyways, his stump in SC was preceded by a trip to Iowa where there are still hard feelings from his 2000 snubbing.  While he was there he exuded toughness by donning his best Arthur Herbert Fonzarelli (aka. The Fonz) attire.  I knew he was a war hero but I had no idea he was as tough as the bad ass of the Happy Days series.   I stand corrected John McCain!

So Fresh and So Clean!!!

Although Senator Carl Levin (D-MI) hasn't been knocking down headlines of late, I decided to offer a shout out to the Michigan Senator for (in my humble opinion) attempting to most embody the image of our founding fathers.  Here is a Black History Month salute to you for keeping it fresh and choosing to style yourself after some old white slave holders!

Twins for a Day

Nancy Pelosi and Condoleeza Rice both had busy weeks.  Apparently, the gray suit, black blouse, oversized necklace is the thing to wear when talking about the troop surge in Iraq.  Both are obviously so serious about the issue that they won't even add color to their outfits.  I do like the fact that neither of these ladies seem to hold back when it comes to shoulder pads.  At least Pelosi has made things interesting by wearing the detached testicles of her castrated political foes around her neck.

Rudy Finds Ways to Express Himself With Pieces of Flair

GOP hopeful Rudolph Giuliani subjected himself to the hardball questioning of Larry King last night. I can't believe he survived the "Do you like puppies and ice cream"  line of questioning.  Guess What?  He does!!
Rudy was sporting the "I love America" flag lapel pin, which made me notice the conspicuous absence of a pin in Mitt Romney's announcement speech earlier this week.  Could it be that the lapel pin is no longer a mandatory accessory for the ambitious politico?  If the flag pin has become optional this could spell trouble for Rudy, who needs 9/11 to be on everyone's mind if he has any chance at the nomination.  I suggest he stop beating around the bush; Keep the flag, but add an FDNY hat and a tie with the image of the smoldering twin towers.  Maybe that will do the trick.  Bit of Giuliani trivia:  Did you know Rudy has a special campaign staffer whose sole job is to ensure Rudy's lapel pin is properly cocked at a 30 degree angle?

--thanks for the tip Lauren